Feedback

Hi gang,

First off, let me say that I see a lot of marked improvements in the wiki. I can tell you guys have put some effort into it, and it's paid off. Here's, then, some tips for refining and revising the wiki in the next few days for the final turn in.

The Introduction looks great over all, although the last few sentences are a little choppy and might need to clarified. Reading through the whole thing to get a sense of what exactly you want to sum up here/introduce would be helpful for editing for the final draft. Saying a bit more here about what you want to cover and why, in slightly more detail, might also strengthen the intro as such.

I know the first section has also been reworked. You might want to clarify what is meant when you say that the Divide is "more like a gap" in the Cause section.

The Definitions section is greatly improved by the more meta-conceptualization in the discussion, particularly in the intro to the section and flow. You may want to rethink what you want to say toward the end of the Race section, as it sounds a little more casual/speculative than you really want to be at this point. Are their indications that certain groups are less interested in the technology and what are these, if so? What would critics say of such suggestions/findings? Likewise, with socioeconomic status: although the logic is compelling for this factor, as the author notes, are their any critiques of this perspective? What would someone who is not interested in class analyses say in rebuttal? These are some examples, then, of point where you want to rethink your claims critically asking, What reasons go against/limit my arguments/suggestions? The more deeply and critically you can go into your arguments the stronger they will be.

Looking at the nature of these divides - the age divide, the gender divide, and the others - in more depth would also be helpful...how do these divides then break down within? Do older wealthier people looks at blogs more than older poorer people? Which divides seem salient to you? Thinking through these will help you to close this section more conclusively and compellingly. Perhaps those of you who did the research for this section can think through these in order to made some broad, helpful statements in concluding it.

The rest of the divide reconceptualization material is good stuff but you might want to think through the organization once more. I felt like the language/global sections at the end were out of place, that the reconcept. section might either introduce these concepts as smaller subsections, or that these things connected to others things addressed earlier. In any case it seems strange to me that these small sections end this main section, so maybe think through how these aspects relate to each other, and what you want to focus on as center and discuss more peripherally.

The Perpetuation section: Please split up the long final paragraph so that is main points are clearly articulated, it's just too long to read through clearly at this point. Also in this section, I feel like the obvious is sort of overlooked or not clearly articulated: Technology is that which divides - can technology be used to solve its own problems? Highlighting the logistical point regarding the relationship between technology and the digital divide - this very fundamental conceptual relationship - seems important here, and thinking through its implications might perhaps help with framing this discussion in this section a bit more.

The solutions section could also be treated a bit more critically - what do critics say about these options and possibilities? Discussing arguments for/against solutions within this section would be helpful.

The Ed Opportunities/Challenges sections could also use a reorganization. Each of the things listed numerically could be better discussed in essay form (without list numbers), with a bit more discussion of examples and pros/cons. This includes the Factors/Obstacles/and Lessons Learned. For each of these you can also refer back to what was stated in previous sections to bring the discussion together a bit more and rely more on your hard work elsewhere; what do we know, from the prior discussion, that helps us in thinking through the factors, obstacles, and lessons learned. I also think you might be able to very fruitfully integrate the Closing the Gap discussion into the earlier discussions in this section. In the end this section could be able to say a few very clear things about what you guys think might work and under what conditions, and vise versa (what won't work and why/if why). Finally, a more summarizing conclusion to match your Intro would be helpful.

I am fully aware I am giving you way more to do than you possibly could in such a short amount of time, and do not expect you to be perfect, given the time pressures you have worked under. However, I think you guys have worked very effectively in responding to our past inquiries/feedback and we have high expectations only because you guys have matched them so well so far in your thoughtfulness and thoroughness. Let me know if you want me to read through a section again in the next few days, and good luck. We are very pleased to see this wiki come together as it is, and we hope you also recognize what excellent work you are collectively producing.

Best,
Liz